Jealousy
by Lulu Ritsu
Summary: Trying to forget about a crush on Ludwig, Kiku is willing to find new love, but things are easier said than done when things take a turn for the unpredicted.  / Rated M for later chapters  / I hate writing summaries XD /  GermanyxJapan
1. If Ludwig is happy then I'm happy

**I love it when I don't have anything to do, cause then I start to write out of boredom and this happens lol**

**Inspired on cold-crescent-moon's fanfiction "Fragile" (which is totally awesome I suggest you read it ) which is also GerxJap**

**I write a lot of blablablabla if you know what I mean :/ but apparently not enough, since I could write endless sentences and it still looks small for a chapter XD**

**And as always, I do not own Hetalia or it's characters... sadly...**

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The small japanese boy sat silently reading his manga at the library, occasionally looking at the door as if waiting for someone. Even though it was a library and it was always supposed to be this quiet... it still surprised him, for the WW Academy was always such a ruckus.

"Kikuu~~!", said a brunette boy otherwise known as Feliciano. He dragged along a tall blonde man with blue eyes. "Sorry we took so long, Ludwig took me out for some gelato!~", he said while hugging the man, Ludwig.

"That's alright", Kiku forced a smile, putting away his manga.

The couple sat down on the chairs in front, Feliciano still not letting go of his lover's arm. As Kiku watched, dying of envy inside. For a long time he had been feeling things towards Ludwig... things he wished he could express. Feliciano was better for Ludwig... they had known each other longer, and Kiku was very much aware on how much the italian loved the german in front of him, he could never come between such thing.

_If Ludwig is happy then I'm happy_... Kiku would think to himself watching the lovers, even though it hurt him so much inside. Feliciano would often whisper sweet things to Ludwig, and kiss his cheek from time to time, always with a smile. Kiku knew he could never be like that... his shyness would not allow him, however it just came so naturally to Feliciano, maybe that was one of the many reasons that Ludwig was better off with the italian.

After an evening of tutoring, and awkward silences from Kiku's part, he stood up and bowed his head slightly.

"I will see you both tomorrow", he said softly, and made his way out of the library.

Always so automatic... that's how he sounded whenever he spoke, so monotone. It's no wonder everyone liked Feliciano much more. Kiku had even been so careful to not even look at Ludwig in the eyes... that action may have given the thought of Kiku being cold towards people, but that wasn't the case, he was afraid of turning red within an instant of gazing upon those blue eyes. It was very rare to see any expression from him, but whenever Ludwig was close he felt different, even more bashful than he already was, and that shell of calmness around him would just brake down, making him ever so nervous... but of course he couldn't let that show.

"No... ", he said to himself, making a sudden stop. "I have to stop thinking about him. "He shook his head, shutting his eyes tightly.

At that moment he felt a hand touch his shoulder, he jumped in surprised letting out a small squeak.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you", said Alfred, class president.

Kiku turned his head looking at the american. "D-Don't worry about it... "

"Are you alright? You seemed a bit... weird."

"I'm fine", Kiku replied ever so monotone once he got his composure back together.

"Oh... ok..". Alfred fidgeted and looked down, Kiku clearly noticed there was something wrong with Alfred.

"Are you alright?", he asked the blushed american.

"Well... there was... something I wanted to ask you... ", he kept fidgeting.

Kiku tilted his head to the side. "Yes?"

"Um...", he continued. "W-Would you... g-go out with me?"

Kiku's brown eyes shot wide open, he couldn't help it. Alfred just stood awkwardly wanting to magically disappear if only. His gaze fixed on the floor, not wanting to make eye contact with Kiku.

"This is my chance... to forget about him", Kiku mumbled to himself.

"Hm? What was that?", Alfred looked up instinctively.

Kiku just nodded.

"Huh? Does this mean...?", said the surprised american.

"Yes Alfred... I would like to go out with you."

A smile plastered across Alfred's face, he didn't care, right now he was the happiest man on earth.

"Alright! Tomorrow around his hour, meet me in the school backyard!", he said waving as he walked away with a huge smile.

Kiku shyly waved, smiling faintly and returned to walking towards his dorm.

It's not that Kiku was using Alfred to forget about Ludwig... he liked Alfred, in fact, if Ludwig had never existed he may had those feelings towards Alfred instead. But it was quite hard to forget about Ludwig when this other blonde haired, blue eyed student had asked him out, and he had said yes to top it off. But... he had to think about his own happiness... Ludwig was living his life with Feliciano, he couldn't just let that stop him from ever being happy... besides, _If Ludwig is happy then I'm happy._

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**Probably second chapter coming soon.. idk... depends on how bored I am. I also have to update my other fic e-e;;**

**If there are any mistakes feel free to correct me.**


	2. First kiss

**Chapter 2 yay ^^ **

**felt like forever writing it... I'm also not very good at portraying Germany/Ludwig so... s-sorry ^^;**

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Unstable tapping of the foot. Every once in a while bitting his nails. He couldn't believe it either, in a couple of hours he was going out on a date with Alfred, and he was nervous... perhaps because he didn't have much experience when it came to these kind of things, love and what not. This was going to be his first date. He was so afraid of making a fool out of himself...

_...What if Alfred tries to kiss me? _

He covered his face blushing hard.

_I wouldn't know what to do!_

He kept blushing and hiding his face with his hands that he didn't notice Feliciano and Ludwig walking in the library.

"Huh? Kiku? Are you ok?", said the brunette italian.

Kiku jumped in his seat quickly looking away, he could not let his classmates see him like this.

"I-I'm fine!" he replied sounding rather nervous.

"You sure?", Feliciano tilted his head to the side.

"Y-Yes!"

"But Kiku... ", the italian kept insisting.

"Feliciano, just leave him alone", said Ludwig softly pulling on Feliciano.

The italian boy fixed his look on the german's eyes looking rather concerned.

"OK.. " he said while sitting down.

Minutes later, after Kiku finally took control of his senses, the three students finally took out their books and began studying. Ludwig would help Feliciano, in a way, tutoring him, and Kiku would finish his homework or read the chapter they were currently discussing in class, all while trying to focus on studying rather than thinking on his date with Alfred, which he miserably failed at. He sighed, putting his pencil down and readjusting his position so that he was more comfortable on the hard wooden chair. This caught both the other two student's attention, but they decided to stay quiet and let Kiku be, if he didn't want to talk then they certainly weren't going to force him to.

"Um.. ", Kiku started to say quietly.

The other two looked at him curiously.

"C-Could I... ask you two some advice?" he said swaying his look away from the pair, clearly embarrassed.

Ludwig looked at him confused, while Feliciano smiled saying "Sure! Anything!".

"Um.. well... I got asked out... yesterday.. and I said yes... ", he continued.

At that moment Ludwig's look of confusion turned even more bemused, as Feliciano's smile got even bigger.

"But I don't know what to do... what if he... tries to kiss me?" Kiku's face was turning red the more he thought of it.

"W-Wait... so, you've never kissed any one before?" asked Feliciano.

Kiku shook his head. "...iie".

"Really? That's so adorable Kiku!" the italian said out loud next to a dumbfounded Ludwig.

"Please... keep your voice down... ", Kiku said lowering his head feeling embarrassed.

"So that's what was wrong with you earlier today when we walked in! Kiku is so adorable when he's in love~", he kept saying.

Kiku could only just keep sinking back in his chair, wishing he hadn't said anything instead.

"Don't worry Kiku! If he tries to kiss you, just kiss him back!" Feliciano said with a big smile, he clearly knew what he was talking about... he was with Ludwig after all.

Kiku nodded, taking in all the advice his fellow classmate could give him... he needed it.

"Just let things happen naturally~ Be yourself~", Feliciano continued.

"Ok.. ", said Kiku fidgeting on his seat. He eyed over his wrist watch and saw that he had over stayed at the library instead of going out to the school backyard like Alfred told him to. He gasped while quickly taking his things and excusing himself. "I'm sorry... I have to go!"

"To your date?" Feliciano winked.

Kiku ignored the comment and dashed out without further notice.

Feliciano laughed silently to himself. "Kiku's first date, isn't that adorable Luddy?~"

"Huh? oh.. uh, yeah", replied Ludwig.

"Haha! Look! he was in such a hurry that he forgot his cellphone!" Feliciano pointed out at the other end of the table. "Should we take it to him? I bet he still hasn't made it too far, not like he'll need it though haha!"

"I'll take it to him", said Ludwig while standing and taking the phone.

"Ok! I'll be here waiting then!~"

Feliciano stayed at the library as Ludwig made his way down the hall looking for the japanese boy, to his luck Kiku had stopped to place some of his things in his locker, which he did rather clumsy given that he was late. Ludwig approached him from behind and slammed his hand on the locker next to Kiku's, keeping his hand there. The mere action made the small boy jump in fear, dropping his books on the floor.

"You forgot something... ", Ludwig said as Kiku slowly turned, fright clearly showing in his face.

"L-Ludwig...?"

The german slowly brought up a cellphone which Kiku hesitatingly took from him, his hand shaking.

"Um... t-thank you.. " he said looking to the hand on his side as if wondering why it was placed there.

Ludwig smirked and leaned in, his face, a couple of inches from Kiku's.

"Who is he?" Ludwig whispered to the other one.

"W-Who?" said a blushing and nervous Kiku.

"You know exactly who I mean... ", he replied with a more firm tone. "...Your date."

Kiku lowered his stare, and remained silent. It's not like he didn't want to tell Ludwig, he just didn't understand why he had to... besides... the mere sight of the german so close to him made him shiver to his feet, he couldn't even think straight! Why was Ludwig acting like this all of the sudden? Why was he so close? Why... did he smell so good?... Focus Kiku focus!

"Why wont you tell me?" he said as he slightly kissed the other's neck. This set Kiku right out of his train of thoughts as he jumped in surprise and tried to push Ludwig.

"W-What are you doing?" he said, his blush turning a shade of red he never thought possible.

Ludwig just smirked, watching the small japanese finally show a different expression from what he was used to. For some reason, this made Kiku scared... what could he possibly be doing? What could he possibly be thinking!

The german swiftly pinned Kiku on the lockers. "Fine, don't tell me then. I'll find out sooner or later."

Kiku squirmed under the strong grip, trying to push him away with his foot, but it was useless against Ludwig.

"L-Ludwig... what are you doing?"

"Didn't you want some advice?" he said as he gripped Kiku's wrists with one of his hands and used the other one to pull his face even closer, staring right into him. Now there was no way Kiku could escape Ludwig's eyes.

Feeling intimidated, Kiku could only bury himself back on the lockers but Ludwig kept coming closer until he pressed his lips against the smaller boy's. Kiku could not deny it, he very much enjoyed it, putting up a fight before but relaxing into the kiss and shyly returning it after. He had wanted this for so long, but many things about it felt wrong, like the fact that Ludwig was with Feliciano, and the fact that he was supposed to be on his way to a date with Alfred. But for now, he just wanted to forget about it all and focus on the tall blonde german kissing him. A dream come true... if things weren't so confusing.

Ludwig bit on the other's lower lip, as if asking for permission to go any further, which Kiku denied, not like he knew what this meant. He turned his head to the side and tried to hide it in his shoulder. Ludwig smiled at him, sweetly kissing his cheek before letting go of him.

"You should go now, you're late for your date", he said walking away, surely heading back to the library where he left the italian waiting. While Kiku just stood there as if frozen... dumbfounded.

_...What just happened?..._


	3. I like you too

**Short chapter, I apologize... I'll try to have the next one up in a few days, so just bare with me for now :D**

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"Kiku?... What's wrong?" asked a curious Alfred.

Even after what happened earlier with Ludwig, Kiku still decided to go on the date, nonetheless, he was more distracted than ever. Something about Lugwig's lips... and how they pressed against Kiku's own... it made him forget about everything.

"Hm?... oh yes, I'm fine... ", he replied once he gathered his thoughts.

The american gave him a concerned look and decided to not ask again, he didn't want to seem persistent, he wanted Kiku to like him.

Both students were now walking side to side. Ever since Kiku had met up with him at the school backyard, Alfred has leaded the way to wherever it was he was taking Kiku for the date. Neither one of them had said much during their walk, Kiku was mostly still thinking about Ludwig, and Alfred was actually so nervous that he was barely speaking.

"Um... Alfred.. may I ask, where are we going?"

"Oh, we're almost there, don't worry", he smiled at the other student.

Kiku just nodded and lowered his stare while fidgeting, he felt bad... he shouldn't be thinking about someone else while he was on a date with Alfred... but with many things going on, how could he focus on the date? It was getting fairly dark and Alfred was taking Kiku further into the school backyard and into the garden, not like he didn't trust the taller student, he did, but if anything were to happen to them no one would hear them scream. Kiku was... concerned, and at this point even doubting Alfred.

"Alright! Here we are!" said the blonde.

Kiku looked in front of him and saw a blanket neatly laid on the grass, it had a basket and around it were small lit candles. He blushed at how romantic Alfred could be, he certainly didn't expected this for a first date.

"Well come on!" Alfred said full of energy as always, walking towards the blanket and sitting down on one side as Kiku sat on the other. "Do you like it?"

"Yes, it's very nice Alfred."

The taller student blushed and scratched the back of his head. "Thanks... I.. was hoping you would... like it a lot ...because um.. I-I like you... a lot."

"Oh... u-um... I like you too... Alfred..."

_Wait... do I really mean that?..._

"You do?... oh Kiku you have no idea how happy you made me just now!" said Alfred with a huge grin on his face.

Kiku gave a sad smile, which Alfred didn't notice... _At least, I can make someone happy._

"So then!" Alfred said, taking the basket and opening it. "Shall we eat?"

"Yes... " Kiku nodded as Alfred was already taking the dishes with different foods out of the basket and putting them on the blanket. Kiku was surprised that he didn't see a hamburger among them.

"I hope you'll enjoy it... ", said Alfred while blushing a bit.

Kiku just smiled and nodded. "I already am Alfred... "

_I already am..._

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_**I know, sucky chapter is sucky. I didn't enjoy writing this one cause there was no Ludwig XD and well... it's a GermanyxJapan fan fiction not USAxJapan lol but I had to get this out of the way so I could continue with the plot, this was necessary, but notice how I did not continue with the date... so I wont bore you guys with it XD instead, in the next chapter it'll be the next day or something. I'll try to upload it as soon as possible! And thank you for all the reviews ^^ **  
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	4. I want you

**This chapter was fun to write = u =**

**enjoy**

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One sigh... followed by another. It was that time of the day again. He would always meet up with Feliciano and Ludwig for a study group in the library. But he didn't want to... he didn't want to see Ludwig after what happened between them, it would just be too awkward.

His date with Alfred had just been the day before and he was still a bit nervous since they had agreed to go on a second one, even if they hadn't set a day for it. To his surprise, nothing happened during the date. They just talked about common interests and ate, all while looking up to the stars and trying to find the little dipper.

However... there were more important things to worry about other than the second date. Ludwig, he was inside the library along with Feliciano, both waiting for Kiku to arrive. He was never this late, usually he was the first one to arrive and wait for them instead. But Kiku was just pacing outside the library door, thinking about whether or not he should go in.

"Alright... ", Kiku said to himself as he grabbed the door nob to the library door. "Just do it Kiku... go in there, get it over with and get out... "

He took a deep breath and opened the door, quickly spotting the couple sitting at their usual table. Feliciano as always was clinging onto the german's arm, while Ludwig would try to read his book. Kiku quietly walked over to them and sat down in a chair in front of them, setting his books on the table.

"Hey Kiku we were starting to worry about you!~" said Feliciano.

"Yes, sorry I'm late, shall we get started?", Kiku swiftly changed the subject, he was afraid to be questioned as to why he was so late.

Ludwig smirked at him, surely thinking about what had happened between them a day ago, but Kiku didn't notice, he was careful enough to not even look at the german, more less talk to him. In a way... avoiding any kind of contact with him.

During the whole study, it was like this. Ludwig would stare at Kiku throughout the entire thing. Even though Kiku was not looking back at him, he could feel the stares. It made him feel very uncomfortable, but even so, he pretended to not notice and keep studying.

"Hey Feliciano... don't you have to go pick up Romano in a few minutes?", said Ludwig, after what seemed hours, instead of minutes of silence and study.

"Oh you're right! I completely forgot!" Feliciano quickly stood up and gathered his things, he threw the back pack over his shoulder and kissed Ludwig's cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow." He smiled at his lover and waved goodbye at both students before leaving.

Now it was very uncomfortable.

"Well... I should get going as well", Kiku said, trying to sound busy, when in reality he just didn't want to be alone with the german.

"Why? Have another date?" Ludwig smirked.

"N-No... I just... have to go to bed early... I-I have a test tomorrow... "

_Lies... since when did I become such a liar?_

"Oh? Let me walk you to your dorm then", he said while standing up and taking his things.

"No no... that wont be necessary."

"But I insist... I want to hear all about your date Kiku."

"Uh... " To this point Kiku was a blank. He had ran out of excuses. Resisting too much would make him seem as if he was hiding something and the way Ludwig smiled worried Kiku, he seemed almost evil. He knew this tortured him.

"Besides... ", Ludwig said as he walked over to the other student. "I can't let you go around campus at this hour... someone might want to hurt little Kiku."

Not only was the japanese student blushing like mad, he was now scared for his life. He was too afraid to turn down Ludwig's offer to walk him to his dorm, so he just nodded while trying to hide the fact that he was trembling like a fool.

"Good... "

They both exited the library and began walking towards Kiku's dorm which was just a few minutes from the main building aka the school. There were different types of dorms depending on the nationality of the student, what one might call the "asians' dorm building" is where Kiku's room was, right next to Im Yong Soo and Yao's room. Kiku hadn't yet been assigned a roommate but it didn't matter, he liked it like that, more room and more privacy.

During their way there, Kiku refrained from making any comment, and he did not even dare to look at Ludwig. He would try to find other things to distract him like... the flowers planted on the side of the pavement which led to the dorms, or even the lit posts that would provide them with light so they could see where they were going... this reminded him... it was getting pretty late. He looked up to the sky and he could already see the stars. Of course.. during this time of year the sun sets in earlier. He smiled when he saw the little dipper, thinking about his date with Alfred and how much fun he had.

"Well?" finally the silence was broken by Ludwig.

"H-Hm?"

"Aren't you going to tell me how your first date was?"

Kiku fidgeted. "...I-I'm sorry... but I don't feel comfortable talking about it... "

"Oh? Is that so?... Did he kiss you?"

A silence followed.

"He didn't, didn't he?"

Kiku just stayed quiet, either not wanting to answer his questions or feeling too embarrassed about it.

"What a pansy... who is this guy anyway?"

"You don't... need to know... ", he replied softly, trying not to anger Ludwig with his answer. He was basically trying to say 'why should it matter to you?'.

Ludwig remained silent and kept walking, Kiku doing the same until they finally reached the building and went up to Kiku's room. He quickly took out his key and unlocked the door, he just wanted to get away from the german as soon as possible.

"Well... t-thank you... good night Ludwig." He said as he opened the door and tried to walk in as fast as he could, but Ludwig stopped him by pulling on his sleeve.

"Wait, you're not just going to leave just like that, are you?" He asked, pulling him back outside and holding him closely. "How about a goodnight kiss?"

"W-What?"

"Relax... you make it sound like a bad thing."

"That's because it is! You have Feliciano! And I'm dating someone!"

"Feliciano doesn't matter... and I couldn't care less about the idiot you're going out with."

"...How... can you say that?..."

"Isn't it obvious?" He said while leaning in closer. "I like you..."

"...Ludwig... I-I... "

At that moment Kiku could feel Ludwig's hands caressing his face, up until now Ludwig had been forceful and intimidating, but this soft touch... was another side of him. Ludwig leaned in and kissed the other gently, Kiku giving in without hesitation. He wanted this, but yet again it felt wrong.

Ludwig pulled back, to stare into the other's chocolate brown eyes as caressed Kiku's lips with his fingers. This caused Kiku's lips to part, letting out a calm sigh, something about Ludwig's touch made him feel so at ease, so hypnotized. The tall blonde smiled and leaned in again, this time, sliding his tongue inside Kiku's mouth. He didn't recognize this type of kiss and he certainly didn't know how he would return it, so he let Ludwig guide him as he kissed him back the same way.

Ludwig's hands traveled down Kiku's torso and caressed his waist and lower back, while Kiku was quickly being overwhelmed by a new feeling. The smaller student wrapped his arms around the other's, deepening the kiss, he wanted more of him and at this point he couldn't control his body. Ludwig pushed Kiku on the wall, where he would proceed to kiss him more roughly. Small moans and incoherent words exited both their lips as they would loose each other in one lustful moment. Finally Ludwig pulled back, if only so they could both catch their breath.

"..I want you... ", said Ludwig, staring right into the other's eyes.

Kiku remained silent for a couple of seconds before realizing what it meant. He shot his eyes wide open and pushed the german in front of him, escaping from his arms and making his way inside the room, shutting the door and locking it.

"...Kiku?" Ludwig stared blankly at the door, where inside the room, the japanese remained silent, still in disbelief of what had just occurred. He then heard Ludwig's footsteps slowly fading away.

Kiku pressed his back against the door and slowly slid down, still panting from all he had gone through.

_...What is wrong with me?_

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**Next chapter will be put up once I get bored again (bored enough to write that is )**

**And also.. thank you very much for the reviews ^^ they make me very happy and keep me motivated to keep writing. I can't believe people actually like what I write XDDD;;**

**ppppfffff real quick lol I just noticed how I always seem to end the chapters with a little thought from Kiku rofl I seriously didn't notice this until now, maybe I'll keep doing it, kinda like a tradition/signature/blah**


	5. It's a misunderstanding

**Sorry for not updating in a long time.. orz I fail I know. ****I kinda feel sorry for my other fic :/ I just don't have any good ideas for it anymore. Actually, I've been getting the need to write new fics but knowing me, I'll wont be updating them often, so I don't know if it'll be worth even starting them then.**

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It was seven o' clock AM on a school morning. But Kiku did not want to get up... that would mean going to class, then to the library and seeing Ludwig, after what happened he felt like that was the last thing he'd want. So instead he just tossed around the bed trying to ignore the urge to go to class, after all, Kiku was an honor student, it wasn't like him to just skip school.

_Maybe if I tell them I'm sick..._

He tossed yet again to the other side of the bed... thinking about last night and how Ludwig's taste would still wonder around his mouth.

"No! Damn it! Stop thinking about him! It's wrong!" he shouted to himself.

He sighed as hours seemed to pass, yet he still laid in bed trying to keep Ludwig out of his head but miserably failing. He could not deny it, he wanted him so badly.. but it wasn't like him to do this kind of thing, Feliciano was his friend and he couldn't betray him. As Kiku thought all this he failed to realize that half the day had passed. He had missed every single class and didn't show up to meet up his two friends at the library. Hopefully no one would've noticed... but Kiku wasn't that lucky.

Two soft knocks filled the room as Kiku quickly sat up begging to the heavens it wouldn't be who he thought it was. He sat there in silence, staring at the door when a familiar voice called his name.

"Hey Kiku! You in there?" said Alfred as he knocked on the door one more time.

Kiku sighed in relief. It was only Alfred. He got up, sheets wrapped around his body and head, the only thing showing was his face and small feet as he approached the door.

"Kikuuu!"

Said boy opened the door as slowly as he could, allowing a bit of light to enter the room. He opened the door slightly and peeked through.

"Yes Alfred?" he said.

"Oh hey, I was worried about you, you didn't come to class today, I thought something might have happened to you."

"um... I just feel a bit under the weather is all...", he lied.

"A-Are you ok? Do you need medicine?"

"No.. I'll be fine.. "

"You poor thing... let me take care of you", Alfred smiled with a light blush.

"There's no need really.. it's ok."

"...But Kiku..."

At that moment a strange sound came from Kiku's stomach, he had forgotten to eat the whole day.

"Huh? Are you hungry? Let me take you out to eat something!" The blonde said.

Kiku couldn't deny it.. he was starving, but still, he didn't want to go out. He was still afraid he would bump into Ludwig... what to do?

"um... yes, I am quite hungry..." Kiku admitted. If there was something he would do anything for, it had to be food, he had always been a bit of a glutton.

"I'll wait for you to get dressed, where do you want to go?"

_Think Kiku... where is the last place Ludwig would go?..._

"uuuhh..."

Alfred chuckled. "That's alright, think about it while you get ready."

Kiku nodded as he shut the door and began getting dressed. He really couldn't think of anywhere in campus where Ludwig wouldn't be... maybe at the small cafe the school had, Romano worked there and for some reason he and Ludwig didn't get a long, there's no way he'd be there.

Once he finished he grabbed his bag and walked out of his room.

"Oh hey, ready to go?"

Kiku nodded.

"Do you know where you want to eat?"

"Yes.. at the cafe if that's alright with you."

"Sure thing! Cafe it is."

As both students began walking, Alfred couldn't help but realize that Kiku was looking in every possible direction as if looking for something. Yet he remained quiet, he didn't want to seem too forward, he had already convinced Kiku to go eat with him. "Don't blow it Alfred", is all he could think of. He also thought of maybe trying to hold Kiku's hand.. but he didn't want to seem awkward and weird, especially since he didn't know what Kiku thought of him as.

"Um.. say.. Kiku", he finally spoke.

"Yes Alfred?"

"We've.. already gone out in a date.. so um..."

Kiku just looked at him oddly as if trying to read his mind.

"Y-You know.. that... I like you, right?" Alfred said, blushing madly by the second.

".. Hai.. I kinda figured it out, when you asked me out."

Alfred chuckled nervously. "So... how do you feel.. about me?"

Kiku stood quiet, carefully thinking his words over. He didn't want to hurt Alfred or give him false hopes. In all truth, he was in love with Ludwig and he couldn't lie and say he liked Alfred instead. He couldn't hurt Alfred like that.

"W-Well... Alfred... the thing is..- "

"Kiiiiku~", said a faint voice that was quickly approaching.

"Huh?" Kiku turned around only to find Feliciano running towards him with a huge smile.

"Kiku! where have you been?"

"Um.. well I- " he tried to reply, only to get cut off by the happy italian.

"We were sick worried about you! You didn't go to any of your classes. We tried going to your room but there was no answer~"

"...We?"

"Yeah! Ludwig and I. We decided to separate and search for you after going to your room!"

"Oh... I see... Ludwig is.. worried about me?"

"Well of course silly, we're all friends!" He smiled, noticing Alfred was standing there all along. "Oh hello Alfred~ I didn't see you there... Say.. what are you doing with here with Kiku?"

"Hm? Oh.. we're just going to get something to eat." Alfred responded.

Italy remained quiet.

"...Feliciano?" Kiku called out to him.

"I get it now! Alfred is the guy you're going out with! No wonder you didn't go to class today!" Feliciano poked the side of Kiku's stomach and winked. "You two rascals~"

"W-What? No! It's nothing like that... "

Alfred looked at Kiku worried. "It's not?"

"Huh? Oh.. I didn't mean it like that.. w-what I meant was.. "

"Haha! You two look really cute together, you know."

The two other students blushed at the comment as Feliciano kept giggling to himself.

"Well, I'll leave you two love birds alone then~" He said, winking one more time. "I guess I'll go tell Ludwig then, he must be worried. I'm sure he'll be glad to know you're ok."

"T-Tell Ludwig?" Kiku blurted out.

"Yeah! Have fun you two!~" Finally, Feliciano ran off with a smile.

_This is not good..._


	6. What have I started?

**oh wow, it's been such a long time since I updated D: my bad.. but the computer that had the draft for this chapter broke down on me.. so yeah, now it's fixed though, and also I'm lazy :p**

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If there was a word that could describe everything that was going on at this point, it would be "chaos", at least for Kiku it was. Though he was sitting at a table with Alfred trying to appear calm, he was actually screaming at the top of his lungs on the inside.

_Feliciano must be telling Ludwig everything right now... crap..._

He could only imagine Ludwig's reaction. All this time he thought he knew the student very well, but after what had happened the night before he knew he couldn't underestimate him, this was a new Ludwig he was seeing, he wasn't really sure of what the german was capable of doing anymore.

"...Hey Kiku, are you alright? You look a little tense", said Alfred with a worried tone.

"I-I'm fine..."

"Is this about Feliciano knowing.. about.. us?"

_There /is/ no us._

"Um.. well.. I just don't know...". Kiku lowered his stare, not brave enough to look at the other student sitting across him with pleading eyes, waiting for a satisfactory answer.

"...Don't know what?"

"I just don't know if.. I wanted them to know so soon.. that we were, you know, going out."

"Oh, I see... ", replied Alfred, but not fully understanding yet. "But aren't they your friends? It's ok if you tell them."

"It's.. not that easy Alfred", Kiku murmured.

"Hm?"

"Alright, what do you guys want?", said another italian but with a much annoyed tone. It was Lovino, Feliciano's brother.

"Oh, what do you want Kiku?" Alfred asked with a cheerful smile, as if he had simply forgotten of what they were just talking about.

"I'll just have the soup of the day...", he replied almost quietly.

"Just soup? But you haven't eaten all day. Are you sure?". Once again, Alfred's expression turned into worry.

Kiku nodded. Even though he was starving, he had bigger things to worry about like.. getting out of there before Ludwig and Feliciano showed up.

"And you?", Romano turned to Alfred with a stern face.

"I'll have a hamburger!", the american grinned.

Romano rolled his eyes and walked away from the table once he finished writing down their orders.

"Wow.. what a sourpuss", said Alfred as Lovino took off. "It's a good thing Francis cooks here, I think that's the only reason this place is still alive, hahaha!", he joked trying to get a smile from Kiku but failed as the asian student was too distracted staring at the door.

Alfred took this opportunity to study the boy in front of him. Raven black hair so perfectly cut just barely exposing the back of his neck, beautifully colored skin like that of a porcelain... he sometimes thought that Kiku looked so fragile, so small, but he and everyone knew how strong he could actually be. He was certain that he wasn't the only one who thought of Kiku like that, of how beautiful and exotic he was, he felt so lucky to spend time with him alone.

As the blonde boy kept staring he noticed but a change of expression in Kiku's face, his chocolate brown eyes seemed to widen as a small gasp escaped his lips, even so, Alfred thought he looked completely adorable.. so much that he appeared to forget finding out why Kiku looked like that in the first place.

"Oh hey Kiku!", shouted Feliciano as he entered the cafe with Ludwig.

The italian boy walked towards them while keeping a hold of Ludwig's arm, dragging him along also.

_Should I run?... Should I stay? What should I do?_

"There you are! I found Ludwig~ "

Kiku felt his face flush as he tried his best to hide it.

"Ve.. I hope we're not interrupting anything", Feliciano winked. "Ludwig and I just wanted to congratulate you two!"

The small japanese boy still kept his eyes adverted from them.. especially from Ludwig.

"...So this is him huh?" said the german as he scanned over Alfred.

"Hello Feliciano.. Ludwig, thank you but.. it's not like we're anything official", the american chuckled.

"Oh come on, everyone knows you two are perfect for each other! ve~"

At this moment all that Kiku wanted was to be swallowed by the earth right there and then. He couldn't tell what Ludwig's expression was... he was too afraid to look. "Alfred... can we please go?" he whispered softly.

"Hm? Why is that Kiku? You still haven't eaten anything...", Alfred looked at him worried.

"...That's right Kiku.. you have to eat something", said Ludwig as he seated himself at their table.

"Is it ok for us to join you guys?", smiled Feliciano as he sat down with them as well.

"Um... sure", responded Alfred while he noticed Kiku getting more and more uncomfortable.

At that moment Lovino walked over to them and set down a plate of soup on Kiku's side and a hamburger for Alfred.

"Fratello!", Feliciano smiled at his brother.

"Eh? What are you doing here? And with potato bastard?" Lovino yelled.

"Brother, don't be like that... ", he pouted.

"Ugh... whatever!" said Lovino as he retreated to the kitchen.

"So Alfred... ", Ludwig began saying, as both Kiku and Alfred began eating. "Have you kissed him yet?"

The smaller japanese boy almost choked on his soup as he heard the words come out of Ludwig's mouth. Alfred just blinked at the question, having his mouth stuffed with his hamburger.

Feliciano just gasped and giggled. "Luddy~ Don't bother them".

"What? it's a normal question... I mean, they are dating after all", he smirked while glancing over at Kiku who was looking the other direction, obviously hiding his embarrassed face.

Alfred swallowed hard. "Um... well...", he looked over at Kiku, feeling a bit embarrassed as well.

_Enough..._

"Yes", said the japanese boy. The other's turned their heads to him and gave him a confused look. "He did kiss me... and it was the best first kiss I've ever had!"

America blinked as he struggled to keep his mouth shut instead of just dropping his jaw on the floor. Feliciano stood quiet, being caught off guard by the sudden outburst.

"Oh... is that so?" Ludwig frowned and looked at Alfred who was still in shock.

"Yes... ", the dark haired boy replied, he wouldn't stand for Ludwig's teasing any longer.

At this point Ludwig was practically glaring at the american before him, and Alfred had begun to notice. It was then when Kiku realized what he had started.

_Dear Kami... what have I done?_

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**thank you for all the reviews guys, you're so good to me :)**


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